Review: Warehouse 13 and the ‘Change’ to SyFy

It’s early (a bit after 3 am) and I’ll probably regret writing this almost immediatelyafter waking up, but my mental notes are rapidly fading so I want to get this down.

Warehouse 13.? My general reaction was a resounding “MEH” (which is a major cut above Totally Sucks, so give it some credit).

Specifics?? Secret Service agents do not need formal invitations to events they are working, waitresses working formal black tie events do not wander around screeching “Champagne! Champagne!” and trained protectors of POTUS do not stand so close to individuals they are holding a gun on that said individual can kick said gun out of said agent’s hand (besides: said individual would have been – wrestled to the ground before being told to ‘freeze!’ and friends of said agent ill-trained enough to get to close would have squeezed off about 200 rounds before said foot doing the kicking got more than six inches off the floor; said agents are protecting POTUS and do not handle things the way police, the FBI or even SWAT teams do.)

Other (easily avoided) bad writing includes things such as – one guard on an entrance? Agents wandering away from their post to admire museum artifacts?

The opening five minutes of W13 was absolutely rife with the kind of thing I was whining about yesterday: unbelievability for no discernable reason.? (How the hell did that guy get past the screening and the metal detectors with a knife anyway?? Someone is going to lose their job over that one…)

Normally, the egregious ridiculosities of the opening five minutes would have seen me turn to another channel to watch anything else (or even more likely turn off the TV and pick up a book not burdened with such stupidity – in this case Brown’s Martians, Go Home!) but in light of the promised review I was forced to continue watching (see what you people put me through? I suffer for you!)

Mrs. Frederich.? Wrong. When your SS agents get reassigned to a super-secret assignment, you (their superior) receive a memo stating that they have been reassigned and you are not to investigate said reassignment just because one of your agents is being whiney about it because – A: it is super-secret and B: you are a professional who got where you did by knowing when to keep your yap shut and your eyes averted and C: because you’d be relieved of your duty if you did so.

Agents that performed in the manners that (can’t even be bothered to remember the main characters names) did would never have risen so far in the service.? Haven’t the screen writers ever watched Clint Eastwood?? You do your unsavory job during the day and then go home and drink yourself into a stupor because you’re a stoic, semi-suicidal government robot that only got to where you are after lots of training and years of demonstrating that you can follow orders while keeping your yap shut and your eyes averted!

And what is up with the steam-cyber-punk chic?? To me, it looked like this exchange must have taken place between the writers and producers:

“Hey – steam punk is rising in popularity, we need to stick some of that in here”

“But this is supposed to be a top secret government warehouse holding all of the advanced technologies that normal society has to be protected from.? Surely they have appropriated some of it for their own uses?”

“Okay – how about we do both steampunk and cyberpunk”

“Yeah!”

Sheesh.

Oh, and btw.? Since the internet and documentary specials on cable channels, I think more folks watching are familiar with Tesla than are familiar with Edison, so describing him as ‘Edison’s rival or something’ was a bit of a dis to Tesla.? Nice to hear him mentioned though.

Finally:? Lucretia Borgia channeling herself through a piece of jewelry is the best we can do for the opening episode?? Guys – you’ve got the Ark of the Covenant in there along with (probably) a working Antikitheria mechanism, Tesla’s wireless broadcast of energy, Nazi flying saucers and any number of devices recovered from Roswell, but we have to go with mystical, parapsychological garbage.

Acting – above par for SkYFfY tube.? Bonus points for the absence of rubbersuit monsters.

If this show is any indication of the direction that SYFY is going, their targeted audience are the sci fi fans who have not yet learned the difference between astrology and Astronomy (and probably never will).

Paranthetically: I counted a total of 8 commercial interruptions, consisting of roughly 90 some odd commercials, one third of which were for other SkYFfY properties or branding.? My (sleepy, bored) impression says that the commercial sets each lasted about five minutes – or roughly one third of the entire two hour presentation.? Way, way too much.

~~~

The changeover to “SYFY” was much in evidence last night.? The thing I found most interesting about it was what the selection of commercials might have to say about what SYFY/NBC-Universal thinks is their target audience.

Despite their claims to be reaching out to a wider (non-geek audience) the commercials seemed to be targeted at anything but a wider audience and were, for the most part, directed at middle-aged males with regular jobs and families who want to keep their teeth white while shopping for electronics savings at Wal Mart.

Said audience usually does not bother itself with that ’scifi’ crap.

As for trying to buy into the X-Files mystique – that show aired a long time ago and as a replacement, W13 fails.