(Found tacked to the MD room wall on Faraway Quest)

NOTICE!

READ ALL INSTRUCTIONS PRIOR TO OPERATION OF

MANSCHENN DRIVE

1. Prior to operation, inspect all bearings and spindles. There are three rotors, each of which must be able to move through a full circuit without interference from the other rotors. DO NOT spin the rotors by hand as this will cause a slight but noticeable amount of temporal precession. You will NOT be credited with a time allowance for the passage of additional hours or days that may result from this action.

2. Insure that you smell the drive before turning it on; a burning or hot-lubrication smell may indicate excessive wear on the bearings. Excessive bearing wear can cause the seizure of one or more rotors, which will require the dismantling, replacement and reassembly of the unit. Since the Odd Gods of the Galaxy have decreed that rotor bearings will always seize up when engaged in naval actions, or when lifetimes away from habitable planets or when delays in arrival will cause disastrous economic consequences, it is imperative that this procedure be followed.

3. Always perform step 2 while in a fully functional, well-stocked port. Insure that good relationships have been established with the local authorities. Insure that all port dues, fees, taxes and tariffs have been paid up to date. DO NOT land if unable to insure the foregoing.

4. Do not allow ship’s personnel to be arrested by local authorities, as this may tend to negate the steps taken in 3, above. Do not allow personnel who are likely to be arrested to sign the ship’s articles, no matter how crucial to operations they may be. Initial departure delays will be more than compensated for by the absence of insubordination, acts of dumb insolence and mutiny during the voyage.

5. Prior to departure, physically verify the presence of the Temporal Precession Field Initiator in the stores locker. Although this piece of equipment is obsolete and not mandatory equipment for most ships in most fleets, failure to have and maintain one in ship stores shall result in immediate dismissal. While familiarity with this device is commendable, it is not a necessary requirement of an engineer’s training, as at least one of your ship’s executive officers will remember its presence and know how to use it in the event that its use becomes necessary.

6. Upon departure, verify that your magnetic soles are in full contact with the deck or other suitable surface. Continue to maintain contact with the deck at all times that the ship remains in free-fall conditions. Failure to do so could result in you or other engineering personnel being drawn into the immediate vicinity of the drive by strong air currents generated by the drive’s operation. Close proximity to the drive WILL result in bodily eversion, as a result of which a member of the ship’s executive staff will have to kill you. The preferred manner of execution is the repeated bashing of your exposed brain with a spanner. As this is an unpleasant experience for all involved, it is to be avoided at all costs.

7. Staring at the drive can have deleterious mental effects. In the event that you should feel drawn towards the drive or develop a strong desire to stare at the rotors for extended periods of time, it is strongly recommended that you re-read these instructions instead.

7. Staring at the drive can have deleterious mental effects. In the event that you should feel drawn towards the drive or develop a strong desire to stare at the rotors for extended periods of time, it is strongly recommended that you re-read these instructions instead

7. Staring at the drive can have deleterious mental effects. In the event that you should feel drawn towards the drive or develop a strong desire to stare at the rotors for extended periods of time, it is strongly recommended that you re-read these instructions instead

8. Should you develop a strong sense of déjà vu or suddenly come to the realization that actions and or conversations are being repeated over and over, there IS something wrong with the drive. Use the emergency cut off switch to shut the drive down.

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10. Never attempt to run the drive in reverse. This action is physically impossible and may only be performed by Commodores who have fallen into shit and come up smelling of roses.

11. If you fully understand these rules, you are deemed unfit for service in the engineering branch of Rim Runners. It is strongly recommended that you make application to the executive branch of the service, or immediately relocate to Kinsolvings.

/s/ Commodore John Grimes, Rim Runners Naval Superintendent, RWC Naval Reserve, Commodore Tharnian Surface Navy, Master Aquarian Surface Ships, Former Federation Governor to Liberia, (secret) Captain FSS Reserve Intelligence Branch, Commander FSS ret., Former El Doradan Yachtmaster, Former Commodore El Doradan Privateer Fleet, former (unwilling) Drone to Shaara Princesses, former owner of Sherlock Holmes’ pipe, husband to Sonya Verrill (depending on current universe) and all around lucky bastard.